Okay before I come across sounding like I have everything figured out, I just want to say that I have talked to a lot of “first time moms” like myself who have had a hard time feeling like they’re moving from “surviving” to “thriving”. I have been praying for wisdom a lot because I’ve really needed some extra help in managing my marriage, my baby, my house and myself. I want to share with you the strategy God has given me. Honestly – I did not come up with this, the Lord really has given me really practical advice that I want to share, and I hope it speaks to more people than just first time moms. Also, I do not always live up to this and I know this will adapt and change as more children are added to the picture. However, I know there is less peace in our home when I don’t keep these 7 commitments. Each persons commitments might be different, but I hope that by me being transparent about mine, I empower you to evaluate your schedule and hopefully move from a place of scrambling to get everything done, to maybe even enjoying the moments you spending cleaning, cooking, etc.
In Master’s Commission, Pastor Rob Reimer would often talk about an analogy of big marbles. Picture a large jar. If you had a bunch of varying sized marbles, sand and water, and you needed to most effectively fit it into the jar, how would you do it? Does the order you place all these things make a difference? The answer is, yes. Most definitely. When you fit the “big marbles” in first, the smaller ones settle right into the empty spaces, then the tiny ones, and so on. You can look at the jar and think its full of marbles, but pour sand in and it fill ups every tiny crevice. Add water on top of that and it can soak right in to that sand. The jar has been most efficiently used for space.
Now apply that to our lives. If we get the big marbles put in first, we will then have time to fit the smaller, less important things. Subsequently, if we fill up the jar with the sand, little marbles and water, we will not have any room for the big marbles. How we prioritize our time is vital to moving from “surviving to thriving”.
Consider these my “Big Marbles”:
Monica’s 7 commitments that lead to a peaceful week
1. My Relationship with Christ – I am first and foremost committed to my relationship with Jesus. I will love, serve and seek Him regardless of any other circumstance in my life.
3. My Baby – I am committed to ensuring that my baby has a peaceful, loving home and that he is taken care of very well. I will try to take opportunities to play with him, talk with him and read to him before chores and cooking. His needs go before my own.
DISCLAIMER: Though I wholeheartedly believe that in God’s eyes my husband comes before my son, if you have a hard time with the concept, think of it as if you want to put your baby first then you’ll put your husband first. The best gift your child can have is an intact family.
4. Our ministry and church family – I am committed to helping and encouraging others in ways that I can. We as a family are committed to the Student Leadership Program and the Regina Apostolic Church. I may not be as involved as I have been in the past, but my commitment has not wavered.
5. Personal growth – For me this comes in the form of listening to programs like Focus on the Family, blogging to help me process what I’m learning and going through, reading encouraging and uplifting books.
6. A weekly meal plan – This is not a commitment to cooking daily! This is a commitment to plan out meals so that I am not scrambling. I can then plan ahead to cook enough for leftovers on certain days during busy weeks. When I commit to this, I save money on my grocery bill because my shopping is more organized and my week is way less stressful.
7. I am committed to my daily, weekly and monthly chores – This is not a commitment to having a spotless house. That is completely unrealistic. This is a commitment to my cleaning schedule that ensures that by doing a couple of chores a day I am staying on top of what needs to be done in my home. (I did not implement this until Caleb was 3 months old).
Thanks to multi tasking I can accomplish some of these things at the same time. While Caleb is having a nap I might turn on Focus on the Family while I accomplish my “Monday Monthly Chore” of more extensive dusting. Or I spend time in worship while I do my weekly Wednesday chore of cleaning out the fridge. You can get creative!
I have found my life has become much more manageable when broken down. When I fit these big marbles in, everything else falls into place.