About a month ago my husband told me that he had this weird feeling we were supposed to sell out house.
“WHAT?” I was shocked. We just moved in it felt like, I just got settled, I’m still finding stuff from our last move! We brought our first baby home here, we can’t leave yet! That just couldn’t be God.
Andrew didn’t bring it up for a while and I prayed to God that if this was Him speaking, that I’d have peace about disrupting our nest and re-doing all the work that a move brings with it.
Last week God was speaking so much to us. He gave me personally really detailed instructions on some things that I’m supposed to accomplish. I was already feeling some “pressure”, but a good kind that motivates you and pushes you on. On Sunday morning we felt that we needed some prayer for protection over our family, so we went up to the altar at church and had a couple pray over us. While they were praying God spoke to Andrew clearly and said that we needed to sell our house as soon as possible.
On our way home from church Andrew dropped the bomb.
“God told me we need to sell our house, and sell it right away.” I can’t say that this time I wasn’t overwhelmed, or that I didn’t cry, but I felt God’s presence settle over me and peace wash over my whole body. I knew that this was God’s leading. I didn’t understand why, nor did we have any idea of the next step, but we had to be obedient.
Over that last couple of days I’ve had major mood swings with the whole thing. I’ve gone from complete elation from the excitement of the unknown and the adventure to come, to being deeply overwhelmed at packing up our whole house, and walking through the process of trying to sell it.
At one point I actually said to God “this isn’t fair for you to ask me to do all this with a little baby!”. Well if that isn’t an outrageous statement. I have again been enlightened to see my own selfishness. All around the world currently, and throughout history, lovers of Jesus have had to make big sacrifices, take huge steps of faith and suffer greatly for the cause of Christ. Really, God asking me to maybe downsize and move to smaller place for the time being is hardly a sacrifice. The unknown of finding a place in Regina, Saskatchewan isn’t as daunting as being told to sell everything and drive your whole family across the country to start a church as Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church did (his obedience resulting in blessing as he pastors one of the largest churches in America). Or the disciples of old in the Early Church being tortured and imprisoned because they were obedient to the Lord directing them to “go and make disciples of all the nations”.
Two days after telling the Lord we would follow Him wherever He led us, He is already opening doors and showing us how He is really using this time as an opportunity to bless us for the future and prepare us for things to come.
So although this definitely has been an obedience test for us, and has involved faith to step out when we still don’t see the whole picture, I can’t call it sacrifice. I still will lack nothing in my life. Even if I live somewhere smaller, or we go back to renting an apartment for the time being, I will still have the love and joy of my family. We will be warmer, safer and more comfortable than most of the world. Each morning the coffee pot will start brewing, we’ll have friends and family grace our home, and we’ll be nestled in the indwelling presence of God that we ask to fill each place we live.
Truly, each step of the way, with each chapter written in my life, I realize more how the Lord’s blessings and mercies abound to us. Even if I am not really losing anything, or if I am truly going without, I hope that when I stand before the Lord He will look at me and say that I was always obedient to His voice.