Last night we went and looked at an apartment. After we put our house up for sale God revealed the next step like He promised. While we were praying about it, God told us to contact a couple we know and ask about where they live. We did, and then we went to look at the place. The couple themselves have a really cute apartment that’s nicely renovated. I was quite excited thinking, although it would be downsizing, it’s a really cute place.
When we got to look at the place, the one we looked at had tenants that seemed almost like hoarders. The place was really gross. I handed Caleb to Andrew as I knew he’d probably hold on tighter as we maneuvered around lots of junk, garbage, and other things. We could tell the landlord was embarrassed. This apartment hadn’t under gone renovations yet either, and it was in general an extremely disheartening experience.
Talking outside afterwards the elderly man shared how his wife was dying of cancer and had only a few months to live. Our hearts instantly broke for him. Inside of me, I felt selfish desire and compassion wage war. I didn’t want to move into this apartment I just looked at. I didn’t want to give up my dishwasher, my open kitchen, our yard and our extra space for company. But I knew the Lord wanted us to be available to love this man, maybe bring him food to bless him, or pray with him and his wife.
Walking back into our house last night I had mixed emotions. I knew there was no question. We’d be moving to that apartment when our house sold. I reminded myself of what I wrote about before in terms of sacrifice, and how this was no sacrifice, maybe inconvenient, but not sacrifice. I guess when the Lord gives me a revelation, He also tests me in it. But I still hold that it’s true.
There is a chance that we’ll get a renovated apartment, and I will pray that we do, since, as a dear friend told me today, “it isn’t wrong to want a dishwasher”! But if on the move day I find that we aren’t moving into a newly renovated place, and I’m down to a tiny kitchen with one sink, I’m so glad God has given me a glimpse into the purpose for this move. I’m sure you’re reading this and thinking, “wow she sure is making a big deal out of moving”, but you just need to realize how much this doesn’t make sense, and how extremely suddenly God has called us from a place we thought we’d be in for five or so years. I know that this is really just the tip of the iceberg. We know deep in our hearts something in our lives is about to explode open. God is working. He’s doing something in us.
I’m so thankful that no matter what, I don’t journey alone. My beautiful little family go as one. We’ll make any house a home. We can take anything and turn it into something beautiful, simply by love. I believe that is how the Father looks at us. He can take us, and love us into something beautiful, something He can use, a tool in His hand.
Our lives really aren’t about us. They’re about who we impact, who we touch, who we love. This is starting to get really exciting, and now I’m just hoping our house sells really soon so we can get busy in our new place and hopefully impact our new area for Christ.