I’ve never thought of myself as someone who depends on food, or turns to food for comfort. For Lent this year I decided to give up desserts. I was excited about it at first since I had realized I ate too much sugar a while ago. I thought this could be the push I needed in the right direction.
As the beginning day of Lent drew closer, I started to get a little nervous about giving up my cheesecake, brownies, cookies and all other little things I make far too often. My husband laughed at me as I started to get a little panicked the Monday before, reminding me it’s only for forty days.
So I’ve completed two full days, and I sort of already cheated by eating biscotti that didn’t have “much” sugar. I have realized something though. Stress makes me want sugar. If Caleb’s screaming, I subconsciously root around to see what baking there is, or pick up a little chocolate here, or desire a sugar filled latte. Being at home all day, I don’t think I had any idea how many times I just ate a “little something”.
It’s eye-opening to realize there is a deeper problem behind something. It isn’t just that I really like dessert, I’ve developed a dependency on it.
Confession: After two days, I have literally thought “I can’t do this.”
Wow. If this isn’t a wake up call to shake things up around here, I’m not sure what is!
The truth is, if I only deal with my sugar cravings, I will end up only replacing my need for comfort with something healthier, or something else that isn’t food related.
So my little Lent sacrifice has turned into something way bigger. I guess I could call it my journey towards a TRUE dependency on the Holy Spirit, not on food.
This is my theme song right now, for every situation I’m in. It’s very old, and I love it. I have been reminding myself many times already to “tell Jesus” instead of running to something or someone else.
“I must tell Jesus, all of my trials. He is a kind compassionate friend.” You can listen to the rest of it below. Let the words touch your heart, and throw preconceived notions of “hymns” aside.
*I couldn’t find a version that wasn’t a little dated in style!
I certainly don’t have any answers on any of this yet, but I am excited at the work that Jesus wants to do in my heart, even if it scares me a bit to see what he digs up. One thing I know, he won’t ask me to deal with by myself.
Jesus can help me. Jesus alone.