Behind the “Stay At Home Mom”

Daily I meet more and more “stay at home” moms. On the outside we each might look the same; exhausted, trying to stay caught up on housework, attempting to keeps meals on the table, find time for our marriages and stay creative with our mothering. On the inside however, each mom is a truly unique, wonderful, talented women with varying strengths and gifts.

I know moms who are doctors, lawyers, nurses, managers, business owners, administrators, interior decorators, bakers, chefs, real estate agents, psychologists, cleaners, physiotherapists, massage therapists, teachers and the list can go on and on.

Another thing that is similar between all us moms, regardless of age or stage: each has chosen to take a break from our own career to care for, invest and serve our family.

Although this is a wonderful time in life, there are days that are long. There are colds, flu, sleepless nights, screaming sessions,  diaper explosions, teething, endless laundry, endless dishes, endless vacuuming, and I’m only touching on the baby years! Sometimes I know from personal experience, and from talking with others, we can wonder if we are truly a productive and contributing member of society.

I saw my husband get up and go to work, and a small part of me was jealous that he was “moving up” in his world. He had something to work towards: promotions, raises, leadership, etc. I started to compare my talents and gifts and thought that I was just as “equal” with him in terms of being able to attain “success”.

I had a personal revelation a little while ago that silenced my swirling thoughts. There is nothing wrong with having an exciting career as a woman, but this discovery gave me tremendous peace for where I am at.

We look to Jesus as our example in everything. The bible states that in the Lord there is no man or woman, but that all are one in Christ (Galatians 3:28). Jesus is the only man in the history of the world to be sinless and to have demonstrated flawless leadership. His potential was unlimited. He was equal with God, and he could have easily chosen to rise up on earth as king, overthrow government corruption at the time and lead a perfectly successful life here on earth. But he didn’t. Let’s look at Philippians 2:6-7;

Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being.

Although he was equal with God, he didn’t cling to it. While the bible states that men and women are equal, I do not cling to it. My attitude should be that of Christ, who although he’s equal chose the position of a slave.

If Jesus can give up all to serve us and give us abundant life, I can give up my privileges for a little while and serve my family.

In my eyes now, it isn’t about proving anything about the kind of woman I am or am not. It isn’t about competing with my husband, or feeling insecure about another woman who is walking in some kind of exciting career or ministry.

This translates into many other areas of life as well. In my marriage, this sets me free from the lies that the enemy would try to whisper to me regarding submission. I know that I am equal with my husband, but my role as a child of God is to follow Christ’s example, which he demonstrated as a servant. When I stop striving, my husband is free to fulfill his role as a child of God, following Christ’s example as a godly leader.

This also gives me a new view of women around me. Instead of looking at the outside and seeing a tired “stay at home mom” I see an anointed, talented, gifted, special and uniquely created woman who has chosen to serve God and serve her family by following Jesus’ example, and laying down her desires in life for a time. These women are capable of BIG things! I now treasure each opportunity that I have to get to know a mom better.

This revelation frees me up from judging other moms who might be inclined to parent differently than I, because we are completely different people. My quality time needing, administrative, visionary, discerning and passionate personality is going to directly influence the kind of household I will run. Just like someone else’s gift giving, prophetic, compassionate, relational personality will influence the way they run their own household.

I love it. I love how God doesn’t just say “be a mom” or “be a dad” but he says “take the gifts, passions and uniqueness that I have given you and run with this exciting role you have”.

May you discover the freedom of operating as the kind of person God has created you to be.
May you find passion and purpose in the everyday as you determine in your heart to serve like Jesus.
May you one day be honoured as you choose to humble yourself now.
May you have the grace and strength to walk out your choices.

From one tired “stay at home mom” to another, have a very blessed day!

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One thought on “Behind the “Stay At Home Mom”

  1. Well written, enjoyed reading your thoughts on this. You had me thinking… how has my personality made me different as a mom and my career as a library technologist… still thinking about it… I suppose my kids are who should be asked about that, lol, they would be more honest.

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