An Unknown Outcome

Before my husband and I started dating, there was a lot of confusion around what was going to happen. I know heard that he liked me, and I definitely liked him. Ok “like” seems like such a ridiculous word, he completely consumed my life.

I had been praying about it for a while, asking God to confirm whether Andrew was the right one for me.

It was hard, we were friends and friends with the same people, so we all hung out, led worship together, went to camp, etc. After finishing the school year there was hardly a day that went by that I didn’t have a chance to see him. And if there was a chance that I might not see him, working at our church held many opportunities for making up excuses for why needed to stop by my office!

As we moved into a season of praying with our mentors about moving forward into a relationship, I was filled with anxiety surrounding the whole situation.  I had a prophetic dream where the Lord told me loud and clear that Andrew was the one that I was to marry. Somehow it didn’t fully quiet my spirit. I was so worried that the Lord wouldn’t speak the same thing to Andrew! I felt like my life was in the hands of this guy, and that didn’t make me feel very secure.

On one of the nights when we were leading worship out at a camp, I was particularly struggling with what the outcome of all this was going to be and God spoke these life changing verses to me.

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; 
    they will be remembered forever.
They will have no fear of bad news;
    their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. 
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; 
    in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

Psalm 112:6-8

The key part for me was that I do not need to fear bad news, because my heart is steadfast and secure in the Lord, not in anyone else. 

I put this verse in my phone and set it to remind me of the verse each time I knew I was going to be around Andrew! I meditated on these verses day and night, and they really did take root in my heart. Before I found out that Andrew did receive confirmation from God about our relationship, I had complete peace that my destiny was not bound up in the hands of a man, but that my heart and life was firmly rooted in Jesus Christ.

Whatever your struggle is, whether it’s a relationship, a job or an illness, if you know Jesus Christ you do not have the fear any bad news that might come your way. His love for you is so great, and his plans and purposes for you are good. Our lives are not held in the hands of men, but in the hands of God. Those hands are much stronger and safer.

I hope I can be as confident as Paul when he said,

For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. (Philippians 1:21)


In Christ alone our hope is found!

*the photo is the first one we had taken of us after we started dating


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