While you are following the three D’s to stress free wedding planning, there is another piece to this fantastic engagement period, that often goes unnoted. Well, at least unnoted to the extent that I feel it should be. I’m talking about pre-marriage counseling or enrolling in a pre-marriage course.
I’m not talking about a chat with your pastor in his office, I mean a “dig down deep” pre-marriage course. One that challenges your motives for getting married, asks God to confirm your relationship and prepares you for some of the tough stuff you’re going to face.
The course that my husband and I took was a 10 week intensive that brought up a lot of great things for us to process before getting married. Sometimes I felt overwhelmed that we were having to be so serious during the fun stage of engagement. I am so thankful we took the time to invest.
A lot of couples I talk to have an extremely difficult first year adjusting. The couples we know who have committed to an extensive pre-marriage program have transitioned very well to married life.
50% of all marriages end in the divorce. No one wants to be a part of that heartbreaking statistic, nor do they assume they will be, as they walk down the aisle. I believe it is way more important to set your marriage up with a great foundation and have a little less time for your wedding, than to have a perfect wedding and start out on a rough note.
Our pre-marriage course taught us the importance of praying together daily, of being in agreement and the seriousness of covenant. These things have been invaluable to us.
Never underestimate the power of preparation. Don’t let the busyness of wedding planning cause you to neglect deepening your relationship during this fundamental stage.
A few other thoughts…
Enlist volunteers! You have more family and friends than you realize who want to help. Many of them just want to be given a job and let at it! If you are organized with jobs for everyone ahead of time, the set up stage will fly by!
While setting up for the wedding, DO as little as possible! Just be the coordinator walking around answering questions and organizing. If you don’t feel like that’s something you want to be in charge of, having someone really close to you who understands most of the details to be the one who does this. They can filter through all the questions and bring the important ones to you
Pray over the details of your wedding. Marriage is God’s idea, and he loves throwing a party for a wedding! Hey, Jesus even went to weddings!
Decide that anything that doesn’t get done by midnight before the wedding, just isn’t going to get done. Don’t worry about it. Don’t think about it. JUST ENJOY YOUR WEDDING DAY!
If you would like help finding a solid pre-marriage course in your area, feel free to email firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy Wedding Planning!