I can’t imagine what kind of love I would have for my husband if we had not become parents. Watching Andrew become a dad has been the most amazing thing I could have ever imagined. From the moment he first laid eyes on Caleb, he has not been the same person. His heart of compassion, love and mercy has been widened immensely. His commitment to help, love and protect me has visibly increased. He has spent many hours rescuing me from my tears and exhaustion as I’ve become a mom.
Caleb has been in a stage where he only wants dad. If daddy walks in the room and I’m holding him, he’ll leap from my arms. If Caleb gets hurt, it’s daddy he wants! I have to admit, this has definitely hurt me at times. I feel like Caleb’s cuddles are so limited that I want to selfishly soak them up.
However, over the last few days I have just overwhelmed with how blessed I am to have a husband who is so passionate about being a dad and so committed to showing love and affection to his child.
Transition seems to be something we are in a lot, and I know that it has really caused us to grow together and push deeper in our relationship.
As a teen, I think I viewed babies as fun accessories. You see a mom with a fashionably dressed baby on her hip, or in her expensive stroller and it looks like a lot of fun. Neither mom nor baby looks very fabulous or fashionable going through the feed/change routine at 2 a.m. Having a supportive, loving and HELPFUL husband in those moments can weld together the deepest bonds.
I hear a lot of couples say they plan on waiting a few years before having children, and I realize the reasons behind that, but I can honestly say that having a baby so soon into our marriage was the greatest thing for us. It forced us to carve out time for one another, to face our issues head on and definitely made us grow up quickly. I’m thankful we didn’t get used to two incomes for long. Andrew has said over and over that he personally would not have been ready for pastoral ministry if we didn’t have Caleb.
I love this verse that talks about having children young.
Psalm 127:3-4 (emphasis mine)
I looked up how many arrows a quiver can hold, and I could not find a definite number, but let me tell you its a lot of arrows! As the one birthing these little blessings, I’m not sure I want to have a “quiverfull”, but I certainly want to acknowledge the Lord’s purpose in giving children to a young couple, and the beauty and blessing that it holds.
I know some couples are unable to have any children, and my heart does grieve with them. That is another reason why I find it heartbreaking when I hear someone speak negatively about “accidentally” having a child right away.
Whether through having more children, and doing other life transitions together, I’m excited for the challenges that we get to work through together. I can’t fathom the love I will have in my heart for my husband years from now when all our children are grown and we have walked through so much together.
The Lord’s design for marriage is so good! It is such a picture of our relationship with Jesus. I have walked through so much with the Lord and we have made it through many life transitions, heart breaks and triumphs. His love and faithfulness has been proved to me over and over. I know I cannot ever turn my back on Jesus. My life is completely intertwined with his.
The Lord said the most incredible statement to us, through all of our disobedience, betrayal and shortcomings. It has become my softly spoken, tear filled declarative phrase to the Lord, to my husband and to my son.
“I will never leave you, I will never forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5).
May the Lord open your heart and allow every day life to cultivate deep love and appreciation for those around you!