After some really good family time over Christmas, I was not looking forward to my husband going back to work. I suddenly couldn’t remember what my days usually looked like or how I was going to do everything on my own. I enjoyed friendship and conversation, and was afraid of the impending loneliness that would come.
As he went back to work, we fell into our days pretty quickly. It of course wasn’t as lonely or as hard as I thought.
There are a lot of things this year that scare me. New roles, responsibilities and challenges that seem honestly daunting.
I hate the idea of staying overnight without my husband, especially with nights being unpredictable with my son, and my discomfort in pregnancy. I’ve only ever had to do a night fully alone once. This next semester I will have to do it numerous times and most likely with a new baby along with my toddler.
I don’t enjoy sleeping away from home with Caleb because he usually doesn’t do well. We will have to sleep away from home for a good stretch of time, with a new baby.
Watching Father of the Bride 2 reminded me of the intensity of labour and delivery. I’m scared to do that again in a few short months.
Fear of the unknown is scarier than when you are actually in it. As I look to these next six months, I need to be strong and very courageous, as Joshua was commanded to be.
“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
It is not a sin to be afraid, but what we do with our fear is important. Fear can motivate us, or it can cripple us. Fear can cause us to draw closer to God and declare our trust in him, or it can cause us to push away and try to handle life on our own.
Since I was thirteen, Isaiah 41:10 has been a special verse to me on not being afraid.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Having wonderful verses like these deep within our hearts are powerful weapons against our fear. We are told in Ephesians to take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Each time the Lord speaks something to me about fear, it is another sword in my hand to cut down fear and intimidation.
I pray that we each have the strength, courage and confidence in the Lord to fight down all the fears that this new year holds!