Second Time Mom: The First Ten Days

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I’m sure I’ve said a hundred times since coming home from the hospital:

“I love being a second time mom!”

This time around has been a much more relaxed and enjoyable experience. My baby blues from my first birth and my uncertainty as a new mom, is starting to become a positive memory as I see how much I grew from that.

From diaper rashes, burping, and breastfeeding to lack of sleep and mysterious cries, it all seems much less daunting.

This is specifically to encourage all my first time mom readers who I have talked with over the last year and a half…you are growing as a person and a mom!

I shocked myself by telling my husband that he should go home to be with Caleb on my first night with Amayah in the hospital. There would not have been a chance of Andrew leaving me the first time as I cried the whole night!

Baby girl did cry most of her first and second night (just like her brother), but through praying for strength and reminding myself of how short a season this is, we made it through with no tears and little anxiety.

If one thing did surprise me about the second time birth experience, it was the after pains. They were extremely overwhelming for me, and on the day they peaked I felt like I was in labour all over again. I was very thankful to still have my husband at home to help with the two kids and be emotionally supportive to me. But just as quickly as they came, so they left again, and that’s already more than a week ago that they vanished.

Now when it comes to my beloved firstborn, he is still stretching me everyday! I feel just as uncertain with him right now as I did when he was a newborn. The poor kid has struggled with his new little sister. He swings from smothering her with love and kisses, to smacking her in the head.

I look at this picture to remind myself that there is hope for them to get along eventually!

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With Caleb I have found myself swinging from being furious at him for trying to hurt his sister, to feeling terrible that he has to go through this life transition.

It has created lots of opportunities for me to explain to Caleb about expressing his feelings. The biggest breakthrough I have seen with him is his ability to simply tell me when he needs a hug. He’ll come reach up to me and say “hug mama”, and usually a meltdown over his sister is avoided.

This verse has been comforting to me during this transition.

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice. My body rests in safety.

Psalm 16:8-9

This fairly positive account sums up my first ten days. In future posts I will talk about baby blues the second time, which I experienced Day 11 onward from time to time, as well as my birth experience!

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Amayah Love

My dear readers, I apologize for this long overdue announcement. The day after my last post discussing some fears of birth, I went into labour!

I’ll give you some quick details, along with a promise that I’m making lots of little notes throughout the day, and when I have more time I’m excited to write all about becoming a 2nd time mom, and what it’s like as a first time mom helping my firstborn adjust.

Two weeks ago, at 6:42 a.m., after 36 hours of labour, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl named Amayah Love. Amayah is Hebrew and means “close to God”, and Love is English and means “full of love”. This is our prayer for our daughter that she will be one who is close to God, and full of love to give, and full of love that she has received.

Again in a single moment our lives were changed. I watched my husband melt away to almost nothing at the sight of his little girl. (I actually called him a baby hog, as I barely got to hold her after she was cleaned up!)

I better stop before I start writing too much (I have a chance to shower, so I really should take it). Truly, I am excited to have time to process a lot of this adventure with you…so it will become a priority soon enough!

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Embracing the “What’s To Come”

Just a head’s up (mostly to any of my male readers): My next few posts will probably involve details of labour and birth. If that makes you uncomfortable, I apologize in advance!

Today was my reminder for what the pain of childbirth is like. Cervix checks and membrane sweeps are certainly no fun, and while it was taking place my mind quickly went to the excruciating pain of pushing the baby out.

I tried to regain control of my thoughts and focus just on breathing through the pain and use it as practice what is to come. When it was all over, I felt a crazy flood of emotions overtake me.  It was all becoming very real. Childbirth is coming, there’s no escaping it.

While I feel confident going into this birth armed with my husband, doula and a great doctor, fear is still naturally going to arrive.

Comfort came to me in the form of a verse this afternoon, and I know that it can be applied to whatever BIG thing we’re going to face, whether physical, mental, emotional, etc.

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

There are so many wonderful truths that I pull out of these verses. My present pain and suffering won’t last very long, yet it will produce for our family another blessing beyond words. I am so thankful that the things I see and experience now will soon be gone, and I can fix my eyes on the beauty of my growing family.

My heart felt so alive when God spoke this to me. This is going to be my “labour verse”. As I experience this in such a physical way, I know that the Lord is going to be doing a deeper work in my inner self. Practical training to endure the much harder, non physical battles of life.

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Photo source: A Confident Heart

It’s a Happy Day!

My little man has been extremely entertaining lately. All of the things he is learning to say really keeps things interesting.

I have had a couple scares with his language however. After getting really frustrated at myself for burning something, I said “SHOOT”, quite loudly. All of a sudden I hear Caleb walking around copying “oh, shoot!”…only his didn’t sound quite like “shoot”, but more like the other more inappropriate word!

The second happened as he asked me for a fork to eat his food. I was horrified for a moment as I thought he said the f-word to me! Quickly I recovered, realizing he wouldn’t have heard that before and he was simply missing the “R” sound in his word! It's A Happy Day!

As for more positive communication, he has been remembering phrases from songs while enjoying singing and dancing. His favourite one to recite right now is Jesus Culture’s Happy Day.

It’s quite hilarious because the phrase has entered into all parts of our life. When we pulled up to mom’s group today he clapped while yelling out:

“Yay the church! It’s a happy day!”

And then today while giving my belly its daily kiss he said:

“Hi baby, it’s a happy day.”

So sweet.

Anyway, it is a happy day. God is good and if you haven’t heard the song before take a listen. There is so much to be thankful for in life. I know when I actually stop to think about God’s blessings I’m truly overwhelmed. He is so faithful.

 

Two Different Kids

Contractions have started to come sporadically, and the countdown to my due date is on. April fourteenth is finally in sight.

As I’m getting ready to give birth to our second baby, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much my first baby has changed my heart. Thinking of all these amazing things has a way of easing my fears of going through labour and delivery again.

I am so curious to see the difference between my kids. Caleb has such a fascination with how things work. He is such a boy. He watches his daddy so closely and I daily find him “fixing” something my husband had been working on earlier. photo

He loves his dad. If anyone comes over or calls, the first thing he wants to explain or show them is all the stuff they’ve been working on. Whether its newly painted walls, trim or flooring, you’ll find out in minutes what’s been updated.

And does he ever have a heart of compassion. If Caleb sees someone or something that looks like it has an “owie”, watch out because you are going to get smothered with care and concern!

I certainly can’t forget to mention his particularism. If one thing is out of place from how he thinks it should be, he will nag me continuously until I fix it if it’s something he can’t do. This drives me nuts sometimes. And other times, it’s a huge life saver because he’ll notice that I haven’t locked up a cupboard that contains harmful stuff.

What a guy.

Now we’ll have a new personality to get to know. A new set of giftings and passions. New quirks, new words, new ways of communicating. New, new, new.

There is a story in the Old Testament where a woman is barren and an angel visits her with news she will have a son. The angel gives her specific instructions about how he is to be raised. When she told her husband of her visit with the angel, this was his response.

Then Manoah prayed to the Lord, saying, “Lord, please let the man of God come back to us again and give us more instructions about this son who is to be born.”

Judges 13:8

I haven’t been visited by an angel with instructions on raising my kids, but I adore this father’s passionate desire to know how to raise his child properly.

As mother’s, our heart’s cry is also to know how to raise our children, considering their uniqueness and God’s special plan for their life.

When I get to observe my newest addition, I’ll be scoping out individuality.

The Lord did answer Manoah’s prayer and sent them further instruction.

I don’t except an angel, but I do anticipate God to give me wisdom and guidance with two very unique children! There will be tough days, but I can’t wait to see the two of them together!