Second Time Mom: Light Blues

secondtimemomSleep was scarce during pregnancy, and perhaps even scarcer now that I have two kids (although I prefer the baby being OUT, then IN).
To be honest I’ve been surprised at just how sleep deprived I am. I knew I wouldn’t get as much rest as when Caleb was a newborn and I could sleep when he did. But I did not know I sometimes won’t nap at all because when Caleb goes to sleep, she’s often waking up hungry.It’s been discouraging, overwhelming and of course exhausting. The good news is we’re still in the very early stage and haven’t found a real rhythm to our days yet. I know it will be easier once that comes.

On the other hand I have to say I’ve been proud of myself in terms of getting through the days generally in one piece. I have shocked myself again at what I can handle when the Lord is giving me strength (and I have Tim Horton’s coffee!).

When Israel accused God of forgetting them, God compared his constant love and faithfulness to the commitment of a nursing mom.

“Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! (Isaiah 49:15 NLT)

The intensity of the full time nursing period is recognized by God. Every time your baby cries, milk rushes in, and if you don’t respond to your baby in the right time frame, you are going to be in some great discomfort.

It seems it would be physically impossible to ignore your baby’s needs or to not feel love. But God says even if it were possible, even if a woman could forget her baby, God could never ever abandon us.

He is so on top of this 24/7 parenting. His whole being responds to us, as to a tiny extent our whole body responds to our baby.

I find that this can be overwhelming. I love breastfeeding and being at home with my two kids, but there are times when I feel like I can’t escape for a minute, or that I’m always on call day in, day out, night in, night out.

These are the times when the responsibility hits hard and I feel the blues waft in.

It’s not entirely bad. This time around my down days remind me of how “on call” the Lord is for me. He’s allowing me a glimpse into his heart through mothering. I’m thankful he doesn’t get exhausted so I can rely on his strength!

So the second time around I’d say I have light blues at times. Still nothing as shocking as the first!

Amayah sleeping