Something For Me

Last week ended off a two week stint at Sr. and Jr. Teen camps for our family. This was our first year in the role of camp pastor.

To say I was nervous heading out there with our two kids for that length of time would be an understatement. Already more sleep deprived than I had ever been, the idea of putting my toddler to bed in a new place did not sound like fun.

To make matters worse, on the first day my son had an allergic reaction to some bug bites and was completely freaking out. It was terrible to see him in so much pain, but even more awful to think that this was only day one. Ugh.

After a night of getting screaming, irritable children to bed by myself, I was really frustrated. My husband came back from service totally pumped about what God had started to do in the youth and in the leaders.

I tried to be excited.

But honestly, I felt left out.

Did God have anything for me?

I know that I am in danger of sounding continually self absorbed, but the more I learn about the deepest needs of women, I understand why I want to know if God still cares.

It’s the same reason I ask myself everyday if my husband loves me. Even though he told me yesterday.

0Anyway I finally stopped pouting and asked the Lord straight out “is there anything at this beautiful camp for me?”.

In that moment he reminded me that I had grabbed a book off the shelf while packing up to come to camp. It was called Love & Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.0-1

That night, sitting on an old floral couch, I started reading, not able to consume the wisdom fast enough. Tears were streaming down my face as God opened my eyes to see how I needed to learn to show respect to my husband. The scenarios described here so crazily “us”.

How did he know the arguments we had?

How did he know the questions I hold deep within me?

As I have continued to read, the hope in this message of Love & Respect has been incredibly renewing.

The book is incredible, but my greater point is that God has something for YOU.

You might think that he has a message for everything one else. You might think that he is only interested in improving others (why would he have a young stay at home mom high on his agenda anyway?).

Ask him. Ask what He has for you. Ask him what he wants to show you.

He might speak through his Word. He might speak through a radio broadcast, a TV show or a book.

I might miss every church, camp and special service for the next few years, sitting in the nursery or standing in the foyer with a crying kid. But this I know:

God will continue to speak to my soul and he will finish the good work that he has begun in me.

Job 33:14 says

For God speaks again and again, though people do not recognize it.

Lord, please open our ears to hear from you, even when we don’t feel like we’re in the right “place” notice your voice.

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