Life with God is so exciting. Life with a spouse who loves God, makes it extremely exciting!
Without mentioning it to each other, we separately started reading a marriage book that God brought across our path.
I mentioned mine before on a previous blog post, Love & Respect. My husband was reading Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll (I’ve since read it and definitely encourage you to check it out). Though we still had our arguments, things seemed to be clicking a long a little smoother, despite some parenting situations that were pushing us to our limits. At bare minimum we were apologizing much faster than before.
Both of us were being challenged in the books we were reading to find out how your spouse spells love. There are broad descriptions of love depending on your gender (like a woman spells love just like it is spelt, L-O-V-E, but a man spells it R-E-S-P-E-C-T), but then there are very individual ways to spell love.
It has been so energizing to our relationship to be finding new ways to spell love to each other, especially when “official” date nights seem few and far between.
It’s been important for us to communicate to each other when we are purposefully showing love, since in our current stage with little kids it can be really easy to overlook what the other has done.
When I realized how much it meant to Andrew if I made the bed everyday (sometimes just minutes before he gets home!), I told him straight out that I made the bed to show him I loved him, even though it wasn’t super high on my priority list.
Likewise, he has filled me in on his love for me by entertaining the kids while I get supper on the table, giving me some time away, and bringing me home a surprise coffee.
Such simple things that are so easy to overlook, but mean so much when you realize the purpose behind it.
This has also opened my eyes to the needs of my kids. Even at two years old my son can be pretty clear that he wants more than anything for me to sit and watch him do a puzzle or build a tower out of blocks. I don’t even have to help. He spells love t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r.
At almost four months, my daughter clearly spells love e-y-e-c-o-n-t-a-c-t, and lets us know when this need is met or not.
Sometimes love in my language is spelt t-i-m-e, s-t-a-r-b-u-c-k-s or maybe even s-l-e-e-p-i-n-g-i-n.