Can you be sure you’ve met the one?


The question I am asked the most is “how did you KNOW Andrew was the guy?”.

I LOVE this question because God gave me an amazing assurance in this area, and I believe he wants you to have complete confidence in making this decision.

I have boiled it down to the four things that made me certain he was to be my husband.

1. Ask God. Ok this seems obvious, but seriously ask God with an open heart “is this person who you have for me?”. Be open to hear no. Get to the point where you can honestly lay it down and accept this verse that God gave to me when I was asking Him.

They {the righteous} do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.

Psalm 112:7 (italics mine)

At that time in my life if God said no to me being with Andrew, it would have felt like terrible news because I was so in love with him. By God giving me this verse he was saying, “no matter how I lead you, don’t fear because I’ll care for your heart.”

2. Confide in a mentor, parent or godly person you trust. Once you feel the go ahead from God in your heart, bounce this feeling off someone else. Ask them to seek the Lord on your behalf and to have them share what they get.

Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without wise advice.

Proverbs 20:18

This is the second biggest decision you will make in your life, next to choosing to follow Jesus. What this verse is saying is don’t make life altering decisions without wise advice!

3. Keep the physical minimal. Our society tells us that you need to have sex with a person before you commit to them. You don’t need to test it out, if you save yourselves for one another, there’s nothing to compare it too!

Keep the remaining part of your unsurrendered brain clear enough to make this decision.

I asked Andrew not to kiss me until we were engaged, because I only wanted to kiss one man. When he did kiss me, my heart was completely his. It would have been nearly impossible for me to hear “no” from God once he did. (I’ll also add, the one worth marrying is the one who’ll protect you by respecting your request to wait!)

4. Take an in-depth pre marriage course. The course we took challenged us each week to talk through the topic and make sure we were on the same page before proceeding in marriage. It felt intense in the moment, but we look at it now as the best thing we could have done before getting married!

Rather than trying to get ready for your life together through gaining possessions Proverbs 16:16 encourages us to seek wisdom.

How much better to get wisdom than gold, and good judgment than silver!

Surviving that pre-marriage course still convinced this was right was the final confirmation we needed!

 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.

James 1:5

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