My life can be described lately by two memes. You know, those hilariously true little cartoons that you can’t seem to avoid every time you log in to social media?
This one has been all to true of me lately. My patience by the end of the day, or by the end of the morning seems non existent. “Holding it together” becomes a full body job, as I feel like someone is standing in front of me poking me repeatedly in the eye with a fork!
Ok maybe a bit of a dramatic visual, but honestly!
In an effort to get on the same page with parenting, we committed to plowing through and implementing the book Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk.
Boy, is that a paradigm shifter.
In a nut shell I would say he encourages us to parent from a place of love instead of fear.
Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.
1 John 4:18
“Wow, what a great way to parent!” we thought naively.
I can honestly say this has been one of the hardest things to change. I had no idea how much of my discipline revolved around sayings like:
“You better not do that or I’ll…”
Obviously this statement evokes fear.
Threatening and bribery are not ways to cultivate or teach love. But the opposite is so time consuming!
Danny Silk posted this meme which my husband shared, and it definitely encapsulated where we’ve been as a couple in our parenting over the last month.
While funny, it is so true. We sat down and came up with great plans on how to handle our most frustrating situations. But still I find myself in those situations faced with a strong willed three year old, and I let my anger take over.
My husband has been a great encourager through it all reminding both us us that ultimately the goal for us is to learn self control regardless of what anyone else is doing.
We can only handle our own responses.
This isn’t just true in parenting, but in almost every situation in life. People disrespect us, abuse us, demean us, and we are only responsible for how we react.
Does that make you feel powerless?
But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.
1 John 4:4