Good parenting does not equal good kids.

I can tell a good recipe when I see one. There are components to it that just tell me it’s going to work out. If I’m baking, I feel very confident that it’s going to be delicious if it calls for real butter, sugar and vanilla. Those three things already tell me it’s a winner.

But there are a lot of situations where following a list of instructions and using quality ingredients cannot guarantee results. Diets seem like a great example. What works for one body, often won’t for another.

In parenting, we have been talking about this a lot a we decide how we are going to raise our kids. There are many how-to’s, but no guarantees.

Some of the people I look to as great parents, have kids that seem to have “not turned out.” Or in one family you can have a variety of turns outs, each having been reared the same way.


Actually this terrifies me. The reality is no matter how great a job I do at parenting the results are out of my control.

This morning at our church’s parenting class the speaker summed up what I had been trying to formulate into words over the past months.

“We parent well out of integrity, not for guaranteed results.”

The fact is, I have to parent the way I believe is right purely out of deep love and commitment to Jesus Christ. If I manage to serve him faithfully through the process, than I have succeeded.

Whether my kids choose to then be followers of Christ and positive contributors to society, is up to them.

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Colossians 3:23

Whenever I manage to embrace the mindset that I’m parenting my kids for the Lord, I do so much better.

I stop owning results and taking responsibility for their behaviour. I can accept the fact that my kids are choosing to act out of control, but I don’t have to respond out of control, because of my love for Jesus.

I hope and pray that my children will make positive decisions and choose to live for God, but with no guarantees in any method of parenting, I make my peace with God, doing what I believe is right out of honour to him.


photo found here

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