We’ve had five days in our a new house in my hometown, and I have to say the flood of emotion has been quite intense.
We’re living in the place that I spent a significant portion of my youth group days (since it was my pastor’s place). I rocked their babies in the same room I’m rocking mine. I pushed their kids on that same tire swing that my kids are loving. To say it’s nostalgic is probably not a strong enough word.
The funny thing is, all these old insecurities that I’ve dealt with over the last seven years have tried to come back and attach themselves to me. (Thankfully the best way to combat these, is to recognize them so they lose their power.)
I wasn’t the cool kid in school that’s for sure. I tried to live out my faith, but failed a lot. I was sometimes bold, and then sometimes shy. Since leaving high school I have had a lot of regrets for not showing enough love and selflessness to the people in my town.
That’s why it’s crazy to be back. And in the position we’re in. It’s like a second chance. A chance that I would not have dreamed of having in high school. A chance that probably would have scared the life out of me.
I’m no longer a brace-faced high school student trying to overcome the pull to be cool, party or fit in. God has done so much in me while I’ve been gone, it’s incredible. I know that I have hope within me that every person I encounter needs. I am humbled, yet honoured that God chose me to come back and give loving this town and serving these people another go.
The Lord was comforting me with these verses last night as I considered every swirling thing in my mind.
The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said,
“Look, I have put my words in your mouth! (Jeremiah 1:7-9)
May you also take that same powerful anointing into the places that you have influence. Don’t be afraid, the Lord has given you the words, and the hope that is within you cannot be denied!
Kipling, it’s good to be home.