Now that we’re on our third newborn, I can see how my husband and I have really grown up together over the last few years.
I remember way too many middle of the night fights when in an exhausted haze with our firstborn.
Then the second baby we were sure would be the end of us (not our marriage, just us as individual people). We had a lot longer to work out our middle of the night issues with her, since she didn’t sleep well for a long time.
One particular night, early in my pregnancy with Eli, I was walking back and forth with Amayah, trying to get her to go to sleep. My baby bump was just big enough for her eleven month old body to put a lot of strain on me.
After a while, Andrew came to switch me off, and I cannot remember the details of what happened, but we ended up arguing over how to put her to bed. In a selfish huff, I told him to go back to bed and let me deal with her.
(In hind sight I’m not sure why on earth being right outweighed sleep…crazy mama).
As the situation escalated Andrew finally said loudly ,“We are on the same team! This is not me versus you. We have to win or lose together.”
Details of that night are hazy to me, but whether or not I backed down in the moment, by morning those words really resonated with me.
So often couples (and we are so guilty of this) approach a conflict as “her versus him”, instead of the couple versus the problem.
The enemy wants nothing more than to turn us on each other so we become disillusioned and miss how he is stirring up trouble.
If we fight each other, we can’t resist the devil’s schemes.
We’re definitely learning that the winning team, is the one we’re both playing for.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.
1 peter 5:8-9