One Year From Now

Last year at this time I was eight months pregnant, almost immobile and extremely frustrated.

I hate feeling crippled by anything, and without much use of my left leg, still with all day sickness and other baby related ailments, I felt trapped in my own body.

It was this beautiful autumn time of year. The leaves were changing colours and I couldn’t even drink a pumpkin spice latte without wanting to throw up (and if you know me, that’s crazy.)

I felt like I was missing out on my favourite season of the year and that my pregnant state was robbing me of all that beauty.

One evening that I would have loved to have been out for a walk I looked at my husband and said “September 2015 is going to be my fall. I will be mobile, I will go for walks, I play in the leaves with the kids and I will drink pumpkin spice everything. The kids should be sleeping decently, and I will be walking out many of my dreams!”

Hard to believe a year has passed since I made that audacious statement. I was feeling aggravated by something the other day and I suddenly remembered what I said.

“September 2015 is doing to be my fall.”

Just remembering those powerful words I released seemed to spark a renewal in me to press on through the hard days.

I was suddenly thankful for my non-pregnant body, although not in the shape I maybe had hoped for yet, is still extremely mobile, and definitely not held back.

Each cup of steaming coffee that hasn’t made me nauseous feels like a new gift.

My nights aren’t what I expected by this point, I’m awake way more than I think I should be, but in general I have the energy I was longing, no, desperate for at this time last year.

It’s funny what just one year can do.

Think about a situation that’s really pulling you down. 

What could it be like in one year? What positive steps could you make today to be in a better place in that area one year from now?

Sometimes one year brings growth, and other times one year brings pain.

September of 2013 was also a fall I would like to forget, stuck in a terrible season of a colicky baby, way harder than anything I have faced since getting married. The year before that I wouldn’t have imagined the hardships that were coming.

I don’t know what another year will bring, or what will be happening in September 2016, but I do know that I want to position myself right now to have the best year possible!

Speak words of life over your situation today, that when the seasons change again you won’t be held down by the things that are stopping you now. Declare health and strength over your body and over your family.

Be encouraged today that one year from now, everything could be different.12047368_10156022065185431_882942097_n

{Two years ago this girlie just screamed all the time. She LOVES going for walks now.}12047732_10156022066755431_459767635_n

{the kiddos and their cake pops, while I drank my first pumpkin spice latte of 2015}

12047594_10156022076035431_735645704_n

{This guy is in school two mornings a week now.}

12053357_10156022077330431_832448029_n

{My baby. So grateful that he’s safely on the outside of my body. So much love for this bear.}

Advertisements

When Courage Invades Your Parenting

This summer I realized I felt more than just a little nervous to take my three kids places alone.

Easily overwhelmed, I had become fearful when I was with them. I didn’t even feel like I could get them the two blocks to the park.

While some of this was legitimate after getting stuck in a situation with a tantruming two year old, a screaming six month old white a four year old took off angrily, blowing a stop sign on his bike, I didn’t like feeling immobilized by my kids.

I was already asking the Lord to make me brave and to give me courage in many areas of my life, and I was seeing that happen. But leaving the house with my kids was an area I did not feel brave in.

This started to frustrate my type-A first born son who one day looked at me and said “MOM, you just gotta do what you gotta do!” 

I felt if I became a “brave mom” than my kids would end up injured, or worse, and I would be more exhausted than I already was.

Then something changed at the Camp Meetings our church hosted. There was no moment when someone prayed for me to be a brave mom, only a strengthening in my spirit.

To some of you that might not make sense, but when you get in the presence of the Lord God he does things you could only imagine. He heals bodies, he encourages your heart, and he gives you strength to do what you thought you couldn’t.

The day after the camp meetings finished my husband and I were speaking at a bible school graduation. I spoke my part first, and then Andrew spoke his, and while he was releasing the Word of God, I felt clothed in supernatural courage.

 “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:8

As Andrew read these verses out I felt that deep reassurance that I could do more with my kids than I had been.

The next day I had decided to stay home all day and not go into work because we had been so busy for a few days I knew the kids needed me.

Nap time finished earlier than I expected and it was hot out. I needed a plan. I felt the Lord’s nudging me to take them to the pool.

“What! Lord are you sure? You know I don’t do that, how can I supervise a 10 month old, a two year old and a four year old myself?”

We went and it was great. I felt like I had just conquered a mountain.

A lot of fear broke down in my life as courage invaded my parenting.

While packing the kids back up in the van, my oldest looked at me and said “Mom, I’m proud of you for taking us to the pool without dad!”

May you encounter Jesus, the one who makes us brave and feel courage invading your parenting.

amayah cutsie

{the girl and her kitty, the animal that’s helps her be brave}