Sundays are hard. I don’t know what it is about the after church crash for our family that always turns our house squirrelly.
We have a bit of a plan for Sunday afternoons and evenings to help ease the chaos, but it always seems to spiral out of control from over tired, socially drained kids.
My ears are still ringing. I didn’t know a child could scream as loud as I heard Caleb scream tonight. Over a bath toy. Or something. I couldn’t quite understand between the hitting, punching, yelling and crying.
I’m sure our neighbours thought he fell and broke his leg, or worse.
My two and half years old sweetheart dressed like an adorable little Minnie Mouse called me a “stupid mom” today.
She’s not a bad girl, only copying what she’s heard.
Yes, I admit it. Four and a half years into parenting and I still say the word stupid.
These are the days where it can be easy to believe the lie that I am a bad mom.
A friend once told me to look at myself through the lens of how I’m doing on a good day, when I’ve had sleep and when I’m feeling on top of my game.
That has stuck with me because it helps me to remember that I DO love my children deeply, I am good at listening to them, at caring for them, at speaking good words of life over them, at teaching them, at praying for them and at holding them tightly when they feel overwhelmed.
In the midst of making supper tonight I stopped at my cupboard where I had a verse written down from a friend. It said:
The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.
I hadn’t noticed those three precious words in the middle: He helps me.
Those words are like the deepest exhale for the soul.
He helps me.
I’m not walking this journey alone. He helps me. With him, I can do it.
How is my baby 1 on Wednesday?!
Love her face here! She is so funny!
This boy. No one sends me for an emotional roller coaster like him. The firstborn of two firstborns. So strong, so determined!