You know when you have a dream that feels so big, it feels like it can never happen.
That’s where I am at with our adoption dream tonight.
Honestly, I’m not actually “ready” for another baby yet. Sometimes I freak myself out thinking that we actually told God “yes” to this call.
It wasn’t until Eli was almost one that God reminded me of HIS call to take care of orphans.
Even just typing it out gives me conflicting emotions. It seems so overwhelming but so incredible. The opportunity to really “do for one what we wish we could do for everyone.”
Caleb asks me about our baby sometimes. Where they will come from, what gender they will be (although Amayah is believing for a sister), what colour their skin, hair or eyes might be?
Each time I kiss Eli’s baby skin I wonder if my next baby will be older or younger then he currently is when they arrive to us.
The unknown can feel so beautifully haunting.
As I often do when I feel discouraged in where God has us on this journey, I looked at some adoption quotes and verses, just to remind myself of of His heart for the babies who are without family.
When God starts to break you, he does it so deeply and wonderfully. I have never been an animal person, not ever. But suddenly if you put the word “orphan” before any living creature I well up with tears.
That’s so Jesus.
A similar “breaking” happened when the Lord woke me up and told me we needed to move to Kipling to pastor. I had NEVER wanted to move back to my small town.
But God broke out hearts and we had an intense, burning passion to move and continue the good work.
Suddenly it looked like it wouldn’t work out and I said to God “why would you break my heart for something that wouldn’t come to pass?”
That’s when I felt a deep assurance that he would not deeply break me for something he didn’t need me to act on.
That situation felt so big, but nothing compares to adoption. That was just a picture of what I’m believing for now.
I daily remind myself of the words a wise friend spoke over me:
God cannot be delayed. And God cannot be rushed.
What are you believing for? Declare with me tonight that HIS timing is the PERFECT timing ❤