We are not alone.

We were struggling. I was reeling. Devastated, disappointed and doubting whether our marriage would make it.

Andrew & I shared in our recent podcast our story of him confessing to me about being stuck in pornography. 

I remember after it all happened, I sat with my very best girlfriend and used extremely cryptic language, hoping she would just call out what the issue was.

I felt so extremely alone, and because I didn’t know anyone else talking about it, I thought we were the only recently married couple walking through this.

After we spoke this past Sunday, I have heard from women all across Canada who identify with our journey.

The number one thing we have heard is:

“Thank you for being brave because now we know that we are not alone.”

Because I’ve had all these messages I feel responsible to say two things:

  1. Most of us are struggling with issues like anxiety and pornography. Some are further along in the journey and have experienced more freedom, and others are still chained up…but the battle is the same.
  2. Can we stop being cryptic? I know we need to respect our spouses wishes if they want things kept confidential, but really, we need to talk to at least one person who validates the fact that we are not alone.

Alone. “Having no one else present”, “on ones own”, “separate, apart, or isolated from others”.

No one wants to feel alone. No one wants to feel like they are the exception to all the other “normal marriages”.

It’s often when we are alone that the enemy has the ability to lie to us the best. When there is no one else to become a sounding board, we can be swallowed up by the thoughts in our own head.

We need to have relationships that silence the negative voices and call out the best in us! The truth that:

  1. I can face hard, hurtful things and be ok!
  2. This wasn’t my fault.
  3. I can stick ,with love and respect, to the one who has hurt me, like so many others have!
  4. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and is comforting me right now!

When something is brought into the light, darkness no longer hides it and quickly it’s power is broken! Open up to someone in your life, step on the devil and allow the Lord to start using your story!

And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb and by their testimony.

Revelation 12:11

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Our little family in the thick of the battle.

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Four years later, sharing our story and seeing God move! All glory to Jesus!

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