It’s still dark out, the rain has started to fall outside. I’m getting ready for the day, trying to stay a step ahead of my family.
I hear crying. Whimpering. Moaning that grows louder.
Andrew goes in.
“It’s ok buddy, it’s ok. I can lay for a few minutes before you get up.”
It’s school today. The crying has began already.
I breathe deep. I met with God this morning and he suggested something. I’m nervous it won’t work.
Kindergarten has been a struggle.
There, I admitted it.
Honestly, we’ve been shocked by it. Almost, embarrassed by it. Our firstborn has always been eager to do new things and step out on his own.
My heart has been broken everyday coercing him to go through various tricks and promises, praying the morning won’t lead into another panic attack.
“At least when we can get him through the doors he’s fine. He goes back after lunch with no problems.” My husband reminds me.
But that is the battle. Getting him through the door.
It’s already been a long morning. At 4:30 a.m. I journaled asking the Lord for wisdom with helping Caleb get to school. By 5 a.m. I was out the door for a walk with the baby who woke up way too early.
Town was quiet, so still, the mist hovering like the Holy Spirit. I hear my Saviour whisper to my heart “He thinks he can’t do it.”
“But why?” I ask back. What could have happened that would deflate his confidence like that?
“Just remind him he can do it.” The Lord said back.
The school boy walks into our bedroom.
“I don’t want to go to school. It’s raining. It’s a perfect day to stay home. I will play nice. Please don’t make me go.”
I grab his shoulders and look him in the eyes.
“You are stronger than you think, you are braver than you think, you are mightier than you think. You. Can. Do. It!”
He stared back, unconvinced. I said it again.
“You are stronger than you think, you are braver than you think, you are mightier than you think. You. Can. Do. It! YOU CAN DO IT!”
His eyes sparkled. A smile started.
“Caleb Andrew can do it! You can do this! You CAN go to school! I know you! You’re so strong and so brave. YOU CAN DO THIS!” I said with silly arm actions.
His whole body relaxed as laughter overtook his body. Arms wrapper quickly and firmly around my neck.
“I love you mom. I’m going to go eat before we leave.”
Thanks Lord, you knew what he needed.
For the first time this year, I dropped a joy-filled, confident and excited boy off at school.