Misunderstanding

“Ok Amayah, you start!”

“Uhh…my high was going for a bike ride. And my low was…” Her voice trailed off as Caleb interrupted.

“No Amayah! From TODAY! You have to pick a high and low from today, not a different day!” 

She smiled and went on with another high and low from a completely different day.

These are my favourite moments. Sharing one high point and one low point from the day at supper time and seeing where the discussion takes us. 

Caleb is always the administrator.

“Dad, you’re next.”

“Well I think this is my high. You guys, talking, supper. I love you all. And my low was probably when mom and I had a misunderstanding today.”

Everyone murmurs in agreement. That was their low too.

“Well dad, understanding is just like that song. That’s what you need to remember.” Caleb gives out some of his good advice.

We are all confused. Eli spits out a chicken wing as Caleb pours yet more ketchup on his plate.

“You know, like our youth pastor always says…” We try not to laugh. Our youth pastors have been with us for three weeks and Caleb already has chosen them to mentor him from a far.

He continues:

“Our youth pastor always says ‘I lean not on my own understanding'” he says confidently.

The puzzle piece clicks and we get what he’s talking about. The United Pursuit song based out of Proverbs 3:5. The song that has become our anthem and the verse that is our anchor for the autumn.

My heart is happy. Caleb is hearing the songs and remembering them.

We went on with our evening, cleaned up many more spills, watched the kids leap over objects and eventually wrestled them to sleep.

I faded fast. It was a big week. We were trying to have a date at home, but 8:30 proved to be too much for this tired mama and sleep took over.

Now morning has come and my life feels new and my son’s thoughts ring out in my head as I pour over Proverbs this morning.

“Don’t lean on your own understanding.”

I am in Proverbs 17.

“Don’t be one who is quick to quarrel, for an argument is hard to stop, and you never know how it will end, so don’t even go down that road.” Proverbs 17:14

Just before that I read in verse 7:

“Love overlooks the mistakes of others, but dwelling on failures of others devastates friendships.”

More pieces falling into place.20161001_180117

We had a few “misunderstandings” this past week. All moments where I jumped to dwelling on his failures and being quick to fight.

Relying on my own understanding. What I saw. What my opinions encouraged me respond with.

I think my son is onto something. The key to a misunderstanding is unlocking His Understanding.

Doesn’t sound too hard. Maybe I’ll give it a shot today.

 

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Son, you can do this.

It’s still dark out, the rain has started to fall outside. I’m getting ready for the day, trying to stay a step ahead of my family.

I hear crying. Whimpering. Moaning that grows louder.

Andrew goes in.

“It’s ok buddy, it’s ok. I can lay for a few minutes before you get up.”

It’s school today. The crying has began already.

I breathe deep. I met with God this morning and he suggested something. I’m nervous it won’t work.

Kindergarten has been a struggle.

There, I admitted it.

Honestly, we’ve been shocked by it. Almost, embarrassed by it. Our firstborn has always been eager to do new things and step out on his own.

My heart has been broken everyday coercing him to go through various tricks and promises, praying the morning won’t lead into another panic attack.

“At least when we can get him through the doors he’s fine. He goes back after lunch with no problems.” My husband reminds me.

But that is the battle. Getting him through the door.


It’s already been a long morning. At 4:30 a.m. I journaled asking the Lord for wisdom with helping Caleb get to school. By 5 a.m. I was out the door for a walk with the baby who woke up way too early.

Town was quiet, so still, the mist hovering like the Holy Spirit. I hear my Saviour whisper to my heart “He thinks he can’t do it.”

“But why?” I ask back. What could have happened that would deflate his confidence like that?

“Just remind him he can do it.” The Lord said back.


The school boy walks into our bedroom.

“I don’t want to go to school. It’s raining. It’s a perfect day to stay home. I will play nice. Please don’t make me go.”

I grab his shoulders and look him in the eyes.

“You are stronger than you think, you are braver than you think, you are mightier than you think. You. Can. Do. It!”

He stared back, unconvinced. I said it again.

“You are stronger than you think, you are braver than you think, you are mightier than you think. You. Can. Do. It! YOU CAN DO IT!”

His eyes sparkled. A smile started.

“Caleb Andrew can do it! You can do this! You CAN go to school! I know you! You’re so strong and so brave. YOU CAN DO THIS!” I said with silly arm actions.

His whole body relaxed as laughter overtook his body. Arms wrapper quickly and firmly around my neck.

“I love you mom. I’m going to go eat before we leave.”

Thanks Lord, you knew what he needed.

For the first time this year, I dropped a joy-filled, confident and excited boy off at school.

cute boy.jpg