If you’ve followed my blog for a while you might remember my post called “Baby Hope” about saying yes to God when he asked us if we would adopt a child in the future. We called that unknown baby: Baby Hope. As a family we have held Baby Hope in our hearts for nearly three years, but my heart has held her since I was about thirteen years old.
The call came on an ordinary day last week. Actually, not ordinary because I had been up in the night and rushed into work and missed reading my bible and praying. I felt a little thrown into life that day. Discouraged that I hadn’t been more organized, more disciplined. I was digging through the back of the store, narrowly missing having a heavy box fall on my neck.
Then the phone rang. I heard my sister sound excited at who was on the phone.
And that day changed our lives forever.
If you’re on my personal Facebook page, you have seen that we have been contacted to adopt a baby at birth.
I shared with our friends:
I realize saying this out loud is like announcing a high risk pregnancy. Why do it if it could fall through? Well our family has been challenged to say a brave yes to everything God sets before us with courage and strength and TRUST that he is making away, because:
“But we are certainly not those who are held back by fear and perish; we are among those who have faith and experience true life!”
Hebrews 10:39 TPT
I’d rather RISK having my heart broken from being open to loving well then protected from pain and miss out.
I’d love to spill so many details because God is literally doing miracles every single day (like providing all the aeroplan points needed for both our round trip flights in 24 hours!), but I need to wait until the time is right.
Here is what I can say. It’s vulnerable, scary, exciting, wonderful, hope-filled, and extremely faith testing in a “this is the bravest thing I’ve ever done” kind of way.
It challenges the idea that we were meant to just live to create comfort. It pushes us to step out and live for others. It partners with the words of Jesus who said:
“The person who loves his life and pampers himself will miss true life! But the one who detaches his life from this world abandons himself to me, will find true life and enjoy it forever.”
John 12: 25
I said yes to God was before I was ready. And trusted that he would bring it all about in his perfect timing. And he has done it. He has really made a way and my heart explodes with gratitude.
I will be flying out of province late July to attend the baby’s birth and take immediate responsibility in love and care for her, my husband joining me soon after.
The time has come for baby Hope to join us. Almost three years after that post. It’s His timing. He can’t be rushed. He won’t be delayed.
A few weeks ago I walked into my shop and told my sister:
“I don’t know what is happening, but I know I can’t manage the store in the fall. I need you to come on as my manager.”
He was already making a way.
I will be gone for a large part of the summer. I potentially will get home as school is starting again.
But he led us to homeschool this year.
He was already making a way. I will get that time with my kids.
Father’s day I cried out in church to God asking him why I was so desperate to hold another baby in my arms.
He told me he was preparing my heart.
He was already making a way.
Until we see the way he is making we can’t alway see that he is a making a way. Sometimes it looks like a bunch of random unconnected pieces. We feel foolish and afraid. Did I misunderstand what you were saying Lord?
Then just like that, a big area of the puzzle comes together.
Oh yes, you do know what you’re doing, God. You are weaving something so intricately complicated together for my good and the good of many others.
Is he leading you to say yes and it doesn’t make sense? Do the dots seem random and impossible to connect? The holy burden on your heart getting to be too much to bear?
Don’t despair. Don’t give up.
Hold on to hope. He is making a way.
My friend did this picture for us a couple of years ago of our kids as the animals we lovingly call them, staring up at a butterfly who represents baby Hope,
waiting to land with us.