It amazes me how quickly I can move from having my life feel manageable and on track to completely and totally out of control.
This past week I finally took action and made the first step in something my husband and I had felt the Lord placing on our hearts. A lot had happened in our lives and suddenly it was weeks after I had planned to scratch this from my to-do list.
What was supposed to be a baby step that made me feel good about my token obedience to the Lord turned into a landslide of events that once began, I couldn’t stop.
In a moment our lives felt in super speed and instantly I felt unable to keep up with everything.
To add to the drama, my kid’s were puddles of candy-hangover disasters the day after Halloween. I was losing my marbles. How had life become so hard in forty-eight hours?
Friday morning I woke up with a terrible migraine. I’ve, thankfully, only had a handful in my life and they’ve shown up after what my chiropractor refers to as a “perfect storm” where stress, tiredness and all the rest collide to create a barrage of unbearable pain.
A simple act of obedience on a Tuesday had led me to this place by Friday. The enemy was trying to steal my confidence, I was sure of that.
Sunday morning I stayed home from church because my headache hadn’t completely subsided. The moment my house was quiet, the Lord began to speak.
“Did you remember that this is all for your good and my glory?”
Really? I replied in my heart. My good? Maybe your glory, but I’m a bit of a wreck here.
“I am working every single thing in your life for your good and my glory. Chill out.”
Does God have to tell you to chill? Or is it just me? That morning I had the contemplative space to see that almost nothing had happened in my life outside my own head. I was freaked out that something started moving quicker than I wanted.
My good, his glory.
I love how Psalm 32:8-9 in the Passion Translation puts it:
I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you,
instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life.
I will advise you along the way
and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide.
So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn
when I take you where you’ve not been before.
Don’t make me tug you and pull you along.
Just come with me!”
I almost laughed aloud when I read “don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before.”
Boy, had I been stubborn in my heart. Not by outwardly refusing to do be obedient, but panicking that the only way I could go there was on my own strength, forgetting that it’s God who leads us into unknown and promises to stick with us through it!
God is taking us, you and me, to places we’ve never been. It’s terrifying. I will be the first to admit it! But let me tell you post migraine, it’s easier to surrender and let Him be Lord than to deal with the physical and emotional strain that comes from trying to be in control.
He is taking all of our mess, brokenness, shattered dreams and misunderstandings and he is literally creating something GOOD for us! And not only is it good for us, but it’s going to display his glory. My life. Your life. It’s good. And it’s going to give God a whole lot of praise and turn a whole lot of hearts right to his.
We just have to ask ourselves if we will be willing to chill out and step out when he says: Just come with me.
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